Our boys love books. The only thing they may do is “read” books after we tuck them in at night. Often times we will find John David asleep with a book…sometimes with a book over his face like in this picture! Sometimes we will find them in the same bed looking at the books together (J pretending to read the books to Hud...He is quiet the reader, not fully knowing his alphabet doesn't stop him).
See the extra pillow on the boys’ beds? John David started several months back to get mom a pillow so she would have a place to lay her head while we all prayed and did our bedtime routine….Hud followed J’s lead and they are both very thoughtful at bedtime about mom having a place to lay down with them! I know John David is following his daddy’s lead in serving so well! Thanks guys:-)
Several weeks back, Hudson kept asking me to scratch his back and sing a song before he fell asleep. I would scratch his back and then he would ask me if I wanted my back scratched. I would say “yes” and lay down for him to scratch my back. He would then, always, ask me, “song?” I would say “yes” and, with a huge smile, he would begin to sing. The song went something like this “Jesus die on cross, Jesus die on cross.” Then he would stop, throw up his hands in question and ask, “More?” I would look at him and respond with “Yes, More please.” He would then grin from ear to ear with a smile that only Hudson has. He would begin to scratch my back and sing again. This would happen over and over again until I would say, “No thank you.” He then would smile and say, “ok”. He would lay down, suck on his thumb, and close his eyes. This went on for weeks and weeks. I looked forward to bedtime every night to go through this “routine” with little Hud…As it continued, the Lord began to work on my heart and draw some parallels.
I really didn’t need my back scratched by Hudson and I really didn’t need to hear him sing songs. But, because I knew the joy it brought to him, I loved it and I wanted him to do it. To see that smile on his face, brought me so much joy. Isn’t that how it is with our Heavenly Father? He doesn’t need us to do anything for Him. He doesn’t need us to serve Him. Doesn’t it say in Acts 17 vs 24, 25 that He is not served by human hands as though He needed anything…He is the one who created the world. He is the one who spoke the galaxies into existence without his mouth getting burnt. How could I serve Him? What could I do for Him? In Psalm 50; 12, 15 it says that if He was hungry He wouldn’t tell me, for the world and everything in it belongs to Him. (As I study the Word more for myself I see all kinds of verses that seem to be paradoxes. The Spirit is- in His timing and not mine- is taking off the layers of 'confusion' so I may, more clearly, see Him as He truly is.) Wasn’t it also Christ who said to Satan in Luke 4, “It is written, 'YOU SHALL WORSHIP THE LORD YOUR GOD AND SERVE HIM ONLY.” Ofcourse, there are tons more verses stating that we should serve God. He even demands it! So what does this mean? How do all these verses fit? Well, I couldn’t help to think of Hudson’s bedtime routine. I didn’t need him to scratch my back. I didn’t need him to sing me a bedtime song. I am completely able to go on to my own bed and go to sleep on my own -without him singing to me. I don’t need him to do anything for me. What could he really do for me? But I say “Yes, More please.” Why? Because I know the smile and the joy that it brings to Hudson. Some nights, I would say, “Yes, More please” for ten times. The more times I would say it, the more it seemed to make him happy. About the eighth time he wouldn’t only smile, but would start to giggle b/c he thought his service to me was bringing me so much joy- which it truly was! My heart was stirred as his joy was stirred in me. Can't you see the parallel?! God’s heart is stirred when my joy is stirred in Him. I am reminded of the middle verses of Colossians chapter one; verses about the supremacy of Christ- all things, in and for Him. I am also reminded about love. Lovers don’t love out of pure duty. Lovers love out of love. Out of desire. Out of the heart’s passion. Out of affection. Oh, Lord, that I may love you more like that. That the work of my hand would bring me so much joy in you…that you would smile and your heart be touched as my heart’s affection is stirred in you. You are life. That I wouldn’t even consider the thought that you need my feeble attempts at service and life. It’s all because of You, it’s all in You, and it’s all for You. It is you that works in me to want to do and be able to do what pleases You. Oh, that I may get out of the way! You do whatever You please! Your Will. Not mine. That I may say to You, “Yes, Sir.” That I may ask you, “More?” Not because You need my help or because I’m suppose to. But because I delight in you. Because You are my heart’s feasting. Because You are my Joy. It is true- your greatest desire for your Glory is found in my enjoying you the most. Forgive me when I don’t.