Friday, February 06, 2009

Grace Giver

The Lord has been teaching me so much during this season of my life. A bit of a winter season…but the smell of fresh flowers are promised. Priscilla Shirer says it like this, “Often we see God’s glory best against the contrast of life’s dry seasons.” This makes me laugh a bit since we have been living with humidifiers and saline drops since Thanksgiving to try to add a bit of moisture! Moses, after 40 years as prince, encountered the “glory of God not in a lavish palace, but in a barren desert.” I love this. We know that the Lord blesses big events, church gatherings, awesome things done for His glory…the Lord has used these things in my life, of course. But, when His glory is revealed the most to me seems to be when I’m sitting in my quiet place, alone with Him. Just us. Looking into His face and fellowshipping with Him in the normal places of everyday life – it staggers me and leaves me speechless. The entrance of Thy Words giveth light- Ps. 119. One thing the Lord has been revealing to me lately is a little bit more about is His grace- I know some of what the Bible says about His grace- but lately He has been teaching me more about truly knowing his grace. I have so much to learn, to know…we always will- it’s unfathomable. But the taste of His Grace in my life is overwhelming. Astronomical. In high school, I had written a little note on my car’s dashboard that said “It’s not about me.” More than ever am I seeing that life is not about me. Mothering is not about me or about my kids. My marriage is not about David and I. My ministry is not about me. My house is not about me. What I do is not about me. My life is not about me. Nothing is. Isaiah 48:11 “ I will act for My own sake, indeed, My own, for how can I be defiled? I will not give my glory to another.” We watched Loiu Giglio’s Indescribable video in church on Sunday night- it, again, reinforced how HUGE God is and how small I am…all to lead us to His astronomical grace. Out of the same mouth that came the universe…comes a small still voice to my heart. When His glory is revealed, when His Words shines light…how can I, as small as I am, not respond? How can I not change my human plans for His divine plans…His plans for us, I think, are much grander than his plans for the universe…the magnitude of the miraculous creation of the world…to show a touch of His glory…can’t be more than what He wants for us. He sent His son for us. He died for us. He lives for us. Small us. Never will understand that. I was just thinking about the beauty of the Lord’s creation that was shown in that video….it’s crazy…the beauty of even just the pictures…and then to just think the thought that the same God that created and rules over that- all that beauty- when he looks at me...he sees more beauty…more beauty in me…with all the weaknesses, imperfections, ugliness of sin…when he looks at me, he sees more beauty than when His eyes scan all the wonders of the universe. All because of Jesus Christ. That takes me to my knees. I don’t understand it, but oh how I ‘m thankful! I’m involved in a precept class at our church and we have been talking about the attributes of God. This past week we hit specifically on His Sovereignty- our teacher told a story that reminded me of a conversation I had with John David the other day. He has a bit of an imagination…I guess like his mom…and night times lately have been “scary”…well, that’s what he says. I was explaining there wasn’t anything to be afraid of…Then I went on to say that Jesus watches over us and that there are angels everywhere. Then I made it more specific and said that Jesus and angels were right there in the room with us- and they would watch over us. Well, that didn’t go over too well…he was then terrified. He made a horrible face and shivered all over and said “Mom, I scared.” (of course then I went on to explain...) One of our dearest family friends with two little boys told me a story of her oldest boy- John David’s age. Blake also had said one night that he was scared…Shannon, the mom, also said the same thing that I had told J. Blake’s response was quite different. He said, “Mom, I see them. Look there they are!” Wow! What a difference! As my teacher was telling a similar story we all thought of the different ways people respond to Christ and His Sovereignty. The difference is that some know Who He is…What He is all about…truly know with their hearts and with their experiences and with all their trust- Standing Stones. Over Christmas I gave out a journal to my family and a couple of friends back in North Carolina. I had heard about this journal from a lady from my church back home and wanted to start one myself. It’s a “My God is….” Journal. I’m not sure all the in and outs of how it is suppose to work, but I started one…using my own little system…It’s been such an encouragement. My trust and love for Him has grown so much. I encourage you guys to start one. Pops (David’s dad who is also our pastor) has been doing a series about prayer. He encouraged us on Sunday to be able to- each week – to put a name of the Lord with what He has been revealing and teaching to us. And then praise and worship Him with that name. Once again, a reminder of how BIG He is and just how small I am…and how astronomical His love and grace. Just that he would choose to reveal anything to me leaves me in tears.

Isaiah 64:6 All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

Hebrews 10:14 For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.


Anonymous said...

What an encouragment & reminder of how much God loves & cares for us. Thanks for sharing Emily!
~Katie Harris

Amy said...

Em, that was so encouraging to read. Thanks for sharing your heart...

"Mama" Karen Luttrell said...

Beautifully written! I laughed out loud, with JDP's comment! That would have been mine exactly when I was young.
We are all enjoying our journals in N.C. Kali and I have compared some of our entires and it was a blessing to us both.
Thank you for your gift of writing and your enlightened comments on our mighty God!
His grace is evident in your life and we praise Him for that.
We love you and miss you. Can't wait to see all of you!

Aubrey said...

Thanks for sharing, Emily. It is always so encouraging to come to your blog and find what is on your heart.

sarah said...

Thanks for sharing this. Your writing is so encouraging and so is your faith walk.
oh and your top picture makes me want to eat some french fries :)! Hope your pregnancy is going well.